Yoooooooooo! Had Bio test today. Might have flunked it because Regine and the others didn't really answer my doubts. After the Bio test, Regine, Quek Xue, Hui Jiung and I went to i-cafe for bubble tea. Strange though. Quek Xue doesn't like cold drinks because she would have brain freeze. LOL I wish I hated cold drinks. HAHA Reached grandma's house and ate biscuits. YUM YUM ~ Wrote a few words on Shi Yong Wen book and felt tired. Planning to do it later. Wonder if it would be too late. >< I want to finish my homework and prepare for MYE. But I'm distracted. :x As usual, people are ignoring me. Just that Zhongnuo had cut down his insults. YAY MH said she hated me. I wonder if it's true. I really don't want her to hate me. My relationship with everyone had soured. BAD Talking to Boon Kit now. He is not responding. He said I was too guai. Am I? Seriously, I lost myself. My character. As in everything about me. I change to accommodate other people. Why did I do that? I realised that it is so stupid. SO STUPID. Now, I'm trying to find myself. HAH Funny eh? I think I had lost my personality when I was in P4. When boys came along? Don't xiang wai, once again. Boon Kit said I must stand out of the crowd in order to be noticed. By the way, I think I had changed when I got into P1! ARGH So which is the real me??? Please... Tell me what I should do. All of you said I must be natural but how? I don't know which is the real me.
STOP READING THIS POST IF YOU FEEL CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!Back again. In a confused state of mind. I don't wanna be so guai also. But something is stopping me. What is it that is stopping me? Serena? I think so. Sometimes I want to raise up my hand and answer a question in class but I'm timid. TOO timid. I sorta despise myself. NO!!! I shan't do that.
Suggestions by Boon Kit?
1. Stop using emoticons on MSN because people might feel that I'm acting cute. (Must I change what I sorta like because of others' opinions? Anyway, do I really like the monkey emoticons?)
2. Change my display name on MSN because it is childish. (I don't want to! I'm always Agent Eeyore from AAAC. ;D)
3.
Try reading manga or watch anime. (Why? Does that make someone more cool? I HATE MANGA, FOR YOUR INFORMATION. No matter how hard I try.)
4. Learn how to dance. (I don't have flexible limbs and my whole body aches after dancing so... NO.)
It seems to me that I can't stand out of the crowd. No matter what I do. Impressing people or whatever. Why must I change? Isn't it good to be guai guai? P.S I think I'm writing like Abby Hayes now. LOL *sigh* Life is horrible because everyone expects something from you. Parents expect you to get good grades. Friends except you to... I don't know. :x Classmates expect you to not gossip even if they do. Cousins expect you to play with them. Oh yeah. Teachers... expect you to do your homework. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?! I'm freaking out, falling down and I... D:
Cheryl ♥ Agent Eeyore
7:04 PM
Thursday, April 8, 2010