Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Hi, I'm back. It's ten in the morning and what I can only say is that my day is screwed up. :( I woke up at 6.30 and prepared to go to school. I was super nervous! >< I was having an interview with the Student Council, you see. I screwed up. Yup, I did. They asked me lots of questions and I answered them with crap. If I can get in, you bet I would jump up in joy. I would be very surprised. I don't think that they were very impressed with me. Or rather, not the least impressed. Sigh, I was never meant to be leader, but someone who supports other people behind them. I might be saying that everything is okay but I know that I'm lying to myself. I really want to be one but why didn't I tell them just now? I'm such an idiot. Sometimes, I get so tired competing with him. Yeah, you-know-who. I guess he is going to trash me once more. Do you know why I can't afford to lose? I'm not despising him or whatever but... I was from 6 J! Sigh... I marvel at myself for being able to type so much over something... Yup, I went to school, came back and I'm going for dazu later. :D See, I'm such a pro. I'm a weirdo, seriously. I don't know how I can be so pessimistic at one time, then optimistic. Maybe, I'm really a 怪胎 like what Sean had said. I'm currently listening to Wedding Dress (English Version) and it seems to have comforted me. I'm feeling better now. Sometimes, I wish I could fast-forward time to see what would happen to me. :) But, some things are better left unsaid. Ignorance is definitely bliss, unlike what Mr Chua always says. Enough of crapping, I'm going to really talk about what I want to say. It's going to get a little disgusting though.
Okay, sex isn't love. Seriously. Neither is it an action to show love. Love is protecting someone and not letting anyone hurt her. It's love when she is happy and you also feel happy. Love isn't possession. I hate guys who are always going after lust. Firstly, we are born to look like how we are now. You can't dislike someone because she is ugly or something. Secondly, guys hurt girls when girls are pursuing slimmer cuts by going for plastic surgery. This isn't love because you are hurting someone you claim to love. I don't understand why girls are trying so hard to capture the guys' hearts. There is nothing you can do when love fades. I feel that this is changing my opinion on marriage. Perhaps, I'm too young to know anything but what I had written was from the bottom of my heart. None of the feelings, including love, lingers forever. It fades. That's a sad thing, I must say. But, I will try very hard to maintain it when I find him. :) It's not only the girls' efforts. The guys have to contribute too. By rights, guys should show that they love the girls. Not the other way round. Hmm, I'm writing something so deep that I'm also amazed. Yesterday, I watched 台湾龙卷风... I know that it's a show for aunties but yeah. I felt so disgusted. How could the guys set up the girls? Actually, this is happening everyday thorough the world. Why? Why hurt the girls? It's going haunt them for the rest of their lives. This is rape. Rape. Yup. If a girl is raped, nothing is capable to mend their wounds. All the emotional scars, it hurts. Seriously, I don't know how I wrote all these. It's too deep... Wow. Okay, enough of this. I don't have inspiration anymore. Bye.
Cheryl ♥ Agent Eeyore
9:52 AM
Monday, September 6, 2010
"I'm sick of crying, tired of trying. Yeah, I'm smiling but inside I'm dying."Don't give up? Why not? !@#$%^&Z*() I don't know what to say. I just feel like blogging. It's like my life is bleak. I keep focusing on useless things that wouldn't do me any good. Why? Why am I clinging on everything even though my brain doesn't want to? Okay, I'm talking no sense again... I want to spam someone like now!
Whatever. I don't feel like trusting anyone now. I don't have inspiration on what to write... Crap, is what I'm writing. Crappy, is how I feel. Seriously, I don't feel like talking. I hate this feeling when you made me smile and yet, pulled me down at the same time. This isn't pain anymore because I'm numb or rather, I'm immune to it.
Okay, guys, if you like a girl, be brave and tell her. Stop going around denying that you don't. People get hurt. Yup, that's all I want to say. Bye.
Ps. Hallucinations.
Cheryl ♥ Agent Eeyore
6:58 PM
